Man Arrested for Dunnowhat

Molly has always wanted to be a journalist. It’s a glamorous job that allows one to report news objectively and insidiously brainwash people. Today, Molly attempts to write a news report, adapting it from a Straits Times report. Admittedly, Molly isn’t as good as the pros. But here it is, complete with the comments of an editor who loves to hide behind the cloak of anonymity (unlike Molly who so shamelessly proudly provides her full name and impressive vital statistics to the whole world).

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Man Arrested for Dunnowhat [Editor: Molly! What sort of dumbass title is this?!] [Molly: One that captures the essence of the news!]

A 32-year-old man has been arrested for allegedly saying that he intends to burn his voting slip and ballot box on Polling Day.

He was arrested for Communicating an Electronic Record Containing Incitements to Violence, under Section 267C of the Penal Code, Chapter 224 as the statement was made online. It is not clear how a statement of personal intention is deemed to amount to an incitement to violence but, if convicted, he can be jailed up to five years or fined, or both.

Police said in a statement on Tuesday that on Monday, officers from Ang Mo Kio Police Division arrested the Singaporean Chinese in his Ang Mo Kio home, acting on information they had received. It is not known who provided the information. [Editor: Not known? Ask the police! If they don’t divulge the source, then report it as such.]

Investigations [Editor: by who?] showed that he was also believed to have posted a comment which the police said ‘was suggestive of causing hurt to Members of Parliament’. It is not clear if the police sees a distinction between a comment that is ‘suggestive of causing hurt’ and one that incites others to cause hurt. It is not known if it was this comment or the statement of the intention to burn the voting slip and ballot box that led to the man’s arrest. [Editor: Then why did you start the report by saying that a man has been arrested for intending to burn his voting slip and ballot box? Buck up, Molly!] [Molly: Hey, it’s not my fault! The pros do it the same way.]

[Editor: OK, after reading the whole article, I take back what I said about your title.]

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Here’s the original report from the Straits Times, complete with Molly’s partisan comments. You can compare Molly’s standard with the ST’s.

Man arrested for saying he wants to burn his voting slip
[That would be a terrible waste of a voting slip. I would rather use it to make a wise vote.]

A 32-YEAR-OLD man has been arrested for saying on the Internet [Shit! Will all the bitchy stuff I have said about the PAP get me into trouble? The Internet is very dangerous.] that he intends to burn his voting slip and ballot box on Polling Day.

Police said in a statement on Tuesday that on Monday, officers from Ang Mo Kio Police Division arrested the Singaporean Chinese in his Ang Mo Kio home, acting on information they had received. [I’m so glad they are acting on information they have received even though there’s no indication of who gave the information. At least they weren’t acting on some political party’s orders.]

Investigations showed that he was also believed to have posted a comment which the police said ‘was suggestive of causing hurt to Members of Parliament;. [Do I see a punctuation mistake or are my eyes playing tricks on me? Oh, anyway, this comment is reported as something secondary, but can you clarify if he was actually arrested because of this comment?]

The man was arrested for Communicating an Electronic Record Containing Incitements to Violence, under Section 267C of the Penal Code, Chapter 224. Anyone convicted can be jailed up to five years or fined, or both. [I see. I’m praying very hard that telling people not to vote for the PAP isn’t considered inciting violence.]

Police said they took threats of violence to the conduct of the electoral process and threats of violence against people seriously. [This last sentence seems so characteristic of local news. Whenever something like sedition or incitement to violence happens, the news will report the police as taking it seriously. But come to think of it, is there anything that contravenes the law which the police does not take seriously? Isn’t such a line redundant unless you want to send the Phua Chu Kangian message, “Don’t play play,” in a more sombre tone. But I understand the need to report it if the police did indeed say it. Though the question would then be for the police: is there any illegal act that you don’t take seriously or take less seriously? Otherwise, why do you even need to say that you take it seriously?]

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